Just like adults, children and young people feel worried and anxious at times. But if your child's anxiety is starting to affect their wellbeing, they may need some help.
Anxiety is one of the most common mental health concerns for children and adults, affecting upwards of 20% of children and adolescents over the lifespan. Anxious youth are often quiet and well behaved, and thus frequently go unnoticed by their parents, teachers, and coaches. Alternatively others can be disruptive and act out, being labeled as having attention deficit disorder or being a “bad” kid. Both scenarios result in youth failing to receive the help they desperately need. Sadly, untreated anxiety can lead to depression, missed opportunities in career and relationships, increased substance use, and a decreased quality of life.
Many children have fears and worries, and may feel sad and hopeless from time to time. Strong fears may appear at different times during development. For example, toddlers are often very distressed about being away from their parents, even if they are safe and cared for. Although fears and worries are typical in children, persistent or extreme forms of fear and sadness could be due to anxiety or depression. Because the symptoms primarily involve thoughts and feelings, they are sometimes called internalizing disorders.
What makes children anxious? Children can feel anxious about different things at different ages. Many of these worries are a normal part of growing up. From the age of around 6 months to 3 years it's very common for young children to have separation anxiety. They may become clingy and cry when separated from their parents or carers. This is a normal stage in a child's development and should stop at around age 2 to 3.
It's also common for preschool-age children to develop specific fears or phobias. Common fears in early childhood include animals, insects, storms, heights, water, blood and the dark. These fears usually go away gradually on their own. There may also be other times in a child's life when they feel anxious. For example, many children feel anxious when going to a new school or before tests and exams. Some children feel shy in social situations and may need support with this.
Examples of different types of anxiety disorders include
Being very afraid when away from parents (separation anxiety)
Having extreme fear about a specific thing or situation, such as dogs, insects, or going to the doctor (phobias)
Being very afraid of school and other places where there are people (social anxiety)
Being very worried about the future and about bad things happening (general anxiety)
Having repeated episodes of sudden, unexpected, intense fear that come with symptoms like heart pounding, having trouble breathing, or feeling dizzy, shaky, or sweaty (panic disorder)
When is anxiety a problem for children? Anxiety becomes a problem for children when it starts to get in the way of their everyday life. If you go into any school at exam time, all the children will be anxious, but some may be so anxious that they do not manage to get to school that morning. Severe anxiety like this can harm children's mental and emotional wellbeing, affecting their self-esteem and confidence. They may become withdrawn and go to great lengths to avoid things or situations that make them feel anxious.
What are the signs of anxiety in children? When young children feel anxious, they cannot always understand or express what they are feeling. You may notice that they:
become irritable, tearful or clingy
have difficulty sleeping
wake in the night
start wetting the bed
have bad dreams
In older children you may notice that they:
lack confidence to try new things or seem unable to face simple, everyday challenges
find it hard to concentrate
have problems with sleeping or eating
have angry outbursts
have a lot of negative thoughts, or keep thinking that bad things are going to happen
start avoiding everyday activities, such as seeing friends, going out in public or going to school
Why are children anxious? Some children are more likely to have worries and anxiety than others. Children often find change difficult and may become anxious following a house move or when starting a new school. Children who have had a distressing or traumatic experience, such as a car accident or house fire, may have anxiety afterwards. Family arguments and conflict can also make children feel insecure and anxious. Teenagers are more likely to have social anxiety than other age groups, avoiding social gatherings or making excuses to get out of them.
When is anxiety a problem for children? Anxiety becomes a problem for children when it starts to get in the way of their everyday life. If you go into any school at exam time, all the children will be anxious, but some may be so anxious that they do not manage to get to school that morning. Severe anxiety like this can harm children's mental and emotional wellbeing, affecting their self-esteem and confidence. They may become withdrawn and go to great lengths to avoid things or situations that make them feel anxious.
How to help an anxious child? If a child is experiencing anxiety, there are things that parents and carers can do to help. First and foremost, it's important to talk to your child about their anxiety or worries. Reassure them and show them you understand how they feel. If your child is old enough, it may help to explain what anxiety is and the physical effects it has on our bodies. It may be helpful to describe anxiety as being like a wave that builds up and then ebbs away again. As well as talking to your child about their worries and anxiety, it's important to help them find solutions. For example, if your child is worried about going to a sleepover, it is natural to want to tell them not to go. However, this could mean your child feels that their anxiety will stop them from doing things. It's better to recognise their anxiety and suggest solutions to help them, so they can go to the sleepover with a plan in place.
Other ways to ease anxiety in children;
teach your child to recognise signs of anxiety in themselves
encourage your child to manage their anxiety and ask for help when they need it
children of all ages find routines reassuring, so try to stick to regular daily routines where possible
if your child is anxious because of distressing events, such as a bereavement or separation, look for books or films that will help them to understand their feelings
if you know a change, such as a house move, is coming up, prepare your child by talking to them about what is going to happen and why
try not to become overprotective or anxious yourself
practise simple relaxation techniques with your child, such as taking 3 deep, slow breaths, breathing in for a count of 3 and out for 3.
distraction can be helpful for young children. For example, if they are anxious about going to nursery, play games on the way there, such as seeing who can spot the most red cars
turn an empty tissue box into a "worry" box. Get your child to write about or draw their worries and "post" them into the box. Then you can sort through the box together at the end of the day or week
When should we get help? If your child's anxiety is severe, persists and interferes with their everyday life, it's a good idea to get some help. A visit to a GP is a good place to start. If your child's anxiety is affecting their school life, it's a good idea to talk to their school as well. Parents and carers can get help and advice about children's mental health from Young Minds' free parent helpline on 0808 802 5544, from Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm.
Contact Specialist CYPMHS (they are NHS mental health services that focus on the needs of children and young people).
Find out more
Young Minds: supporting your child with anxiety
Health for Teens: practical advice about dealing with anxiety
Above all, please don't forget the significant of PRAYERS in every situation.
Upcoming Blogpost
We shall look at this topic - Social anxiety (social phobia) and how to overcome Social anxiety (social phobia). Stay Tuned
REFERENCE: NHS, WHO, HFT, YOUNGMINDS,CDC, ANXIETYCANADA etc
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