Stress is a normal reaction the body has when changes occur, resulting in physical, emotional and intellectual responses. Stress management training can help you deal with changes in a healthier way. Stress is a normal human reaction that happens to everyone. In fact, the human body is designed to experience stress and react to it. When you experience changes or challenges (stressors), your body produces physical and mental responses. That’s stress.
What causes stress?
The things that cause stress vary from person to person.
The level of stress you are comfortable with may be higher or lower than that of others around you. Stressful feelings typically happen when we feel we do not have the resources to manage the challenges we face.
Pressure at work, school or home, illness, or difficult or sudden life events can all lead to stress.
Possible causes of stress include:
• our genes, upbringing and experiences as children or adults
• personal problems like relationship issues
• life changes, like moving house, having a baby or bereavement
• money worries, housing issues or job problems
• health issues, either for you or someone close to you
• pregnancy and parenting
• loneliness or feeling unsupported
Dealing with stress
Stress is something everyone feels at times, especially when dealing with change or life challenges, such as money worries, work issues or relationship problems.
A little stress can be a good thing, as it helps us to get things done or focus on something that needs our attention.
How we manage stress can make a big difference to our mental wellbeing, and the first step to managing it is to know how it affects us and why.
Signs and symptoms of stress
Stress can affect our emotions and we may:
• be irritable, angry or tearful
• feel worried, anxious, hopeless or scared
• struggle to make decisions, have racing thoughts or feel overwhelmed
The physical symptoms of stress include:
• stomach problems, stress headaches and other odd pains including muscle pain
• skin reactions, like stress rashes and hives
• feeling dizzy, sick or faint
Signs of Stress in Children
Often, children—particularly younger kids—are not able to fully articulate their feelings of stress and anxiety. If there have been any major changes in a child's life, such as a move or a new sibling, parents should pay particular attention and look for possible signs of childhood stress.
Signs of stress in children may include:
• Stomach pains
• Headaches
• Changes in behavior
• Mood swings
• Sleep problems
• Difficulty concentrating at school
• Irritability
• Disruptions in relationships
• Decreased academic performance
• Low motivation
Some of the Typical Signs and Symptoms of Stress in Children
Just as children’s reactions are each different, so are their coping strategies. Children can cope through tears or tantrums or by retreating from unpleasant situations.
They could be masterful at considering options, finding compromise, or finding substitute comfort. Usually a child’s thinking is not developed fully enough to think of options or consider the implications of possible actions. Here are developmentally normal responses to stress. It is important to note that children who live in supportive environments often develop a range of coping strategies and become more resilient.
Preschoolers
Typically, preschoolers lack self-control, have a limited understanding of time, act independently, are curious, may wet the bed, have changes in eating habits, have difficulty with sleep or speech, and cannot always tell adults how they are feeling.
Preschoolers under stress each react differently. Some behaviors may include irritability, anxiety, uncontrollable crying, trembling with fright, and eating or sleeping problems. Toddlers may regress to infant behaviors, feel angry and not understand their feelings, fear being alone or without their parent or caregiver, withdraw, bite, or be sensitive to sudden or loud noises. Feelings of sadness or anger may build inside of them. They may become angry or aggressive, have nightmares, or be accident prone.
Elementary-age Children
Typical elementary-age children may whine when things don’t go their way, be aggressive, question adults, try out new behaviors, complain about school, have fears and nightmares, and lose concentration.
Reactions to distress may include withdrawal, feelings of being unloved, being distrustful, feeling unwell, lack of interest or excessive interest in attending school, fighting with or ignoring friends, and having difficulty naming their feelings. Under stress, they may worry about the future, complain of headaches or stomachaches, have trouble sleeping, be disrespectful, act out, have a loss of appetite, or need to urinate frequently.
Preteens and Adolescents
Adolescents typically are rebellious, have “growing pains” and skin problems, and may have sleep disturbances, go off by themselves, be agitated, or act irresponsibly.
Adolescents and teens under distress may feel angry longer, feel disillusioned, lack self-esteem, and have a general distrust of the world. Sometimes adolescents will show extreme behaviors ranging from doing everything they are asked, to rebelling and breaking rules and taking part in high-risk behaviors (for example, drug use, shoplifting, and skipping school). Depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies are additional distress responses.
Helping Children Cope with Stress
To adults, childhood can seem like a carefree time. But kids still experience stress. Things like school and their social life can sometimes create pressures that can feel overwhelming for kids. As a parent, you can't protect your kids from stress — but you can help them develop healthy ways to cope with stress and solve everyday problems.
Kids deal with stress in both healthy and unhealthy ways. And while they may not initiate a conversation about what's bothering them, they do want their parents to reach out and help them cope with their troubles.
But it's not always easy for parents to know what to do for a child who's feeling stressed.
Here are a few ideas:
1. Notice out loud. Tell your child when you notice that something's bothering him or her. If you can, name the feeling you think your child is experiencing. ("It seems like you're still mad about what happened at the playground.") This shouldn't sound like an accusation (as in, "OK, what happened now? Are you still mad about that?") or put a child on the spot. It's just a casual observation that you're interested in hearing more about your child's concern. Be sympathetic and show you care and want to understand.
2. Listen to your child. Ask your child to tell you what's wrong. Listen attentively and calmly — with interest, patience, openness, and caring. Avoid any urge to judge, blame, lecture, or say what you think your child should have done instead. The idea is to let your child's concerns (and feelings) be heard. Try to get the whole story by asking questions like "And then what happened?" Take your time. And let your child take his or her time, too.
3. Comment briefly on the feelings you think your child was experiencing. For example, you might say "That must have been upsetting," "No wonder you felt mad when they wouldn't let you in the game," or "That must have seemed unfair to you." Doing this shows that you understand what your child felt, why, and that you care. Feeling understood and listened to helps your child feel supported by you, and that is especially important in times of stress.
4. Put a label on it. Many younger kids do not yet have words for their feelings. If your child seems angry or frustrated, use those words to help him or her learn to identify the emotions by name. Putting feelings into words helps kids communicate and develop emotional awareness — the ability to recognize their own emotional states. Kids who can do so are less likely to reach the behavioral boiling point where strong emotions come out through behaviors rather than communicated with words.
5. Help your child think of things to do. If there's a specific problem that's causing stress, talk together about what to do. Encourage your child to think of a couple of ideas. You can start the brainstorming if necessary, but don't do all the work. Your child's active participation will build confidence. Support the good ideas and add to them as needed. Ask, "How do you think this will work?"
6. Listen and move on. Sometimes talking and listening and feeling understood is all that's needed to help a child's frustrations begin to melt away. Afterward, try changing the subject and moving on to something more positive and relaxing. Help your child think of something to do to feel better. Don't give the problem more attention than it deserves.
7. Limit stress where possible. If certain situations are causing stress, see if there are ways to change things. For instance, if too many after-school activities consistently cause homework stress, it might be necessary to limit activities to leave time and energy for homework.
8. Just be there. Kids don't always feel like talking about what's bothering them. Sometimes that's OK. Let your kids know you'll be there when they do feel like talking. Even when kids don't want to talk, they usually don't want parents to leave them alone. You can help your child feel better just by being there — keeping him or her company, spending time together. So if you notice that your child seems to be down in the dumps, stressed, or having a bad day — but doesn't feel like talking — initiate something you can do together. Take a walk, watch a movie, shoot some hoops, or bake some cookies. Isn't it nice to know that your presence really counts?
9. Be patient. As a parent, it hurts to see your child unhappy or stressed. But try to resist the urge to fix every problem. Instead, focus on helping your child, slowly but surely, grow into a good problem-solver — a kid who knows how to roll with life's ups and downs, put feelings into words, calm down when needed, and bounce back to try again.
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REFERENCE: NHS, NCSU.EDU, CLEVELANDCLINIC, HOPKINSALLCHILDRENS etc
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